Chapter: Problems and
Pain:
1) Discipline is the basic set of tools
we require to solve life's problems. Without discipline we can solve nothing.
We attempt to skirt around problems rather than deal with them head on. The
tendency to avoid problems and emotional suffering inherent in them is the
primary basis of all human mental illness.
Chapter: Delaying gratification:
2) One hour of pain followed by six
hour of pleasure is preferable to one hour of pleasure followed by six hour of
pain. It is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way
as to enhance the pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by
meeting and to live. Some teenagers seem to have hardly developed this capacity
atall. Experiencing the pain first and getting over with it. It's the only
decent way. These are the problem students. Most of the signs point to the
quality of parenting as the determinant.
Chapter: Sins of
Father:
3). If father beats up mother, what
sense does it make when her mother scolds him
because he beat is sister? If a child sees his parents always behaving with
self-discipline, restraint, dignity and capacity to order their own lives, then
the child will come to feel in the deepest sense te same way is the way to
live. Yet, even more important than role modeling is it and taking care of it-
little lectures, little stories, little hugs and love. When we love something,
we value it, we spend more time with it, enjoying kisses. Yet, some unloving
parents will shower upon their children mechanical, valuable ~ "I am a
valuable person" - is essential to mental health repititive love, not
devoting significant quality time. The children who are truly loved feel a
sense of "highly valued". This feeling of being and is a cornerstone
of self discipline. It's a direct product of parental fortunate children will
enter adulthood not only with a deep sense of own love. Such a conviction must
be gained in childhood; it's extremely difficult to obtain in adulthood. When
one considers oneself valuable, he/she will take care of himself in all
possible values. Self discipline is self caring. Such value, but also with a
deep sense of internal security. With this internal sense of consistent
security, such a child is willing to delay gratification of one kind or the
other, secure in the knowledge that the opportunity for gratification, like
sweet home, loving parents, is always there, available when needed.
Chapter: Problem
Solving and Time:
4) Anyone can solve any problem if
willing to take time.I remember a short poem with regard to time:
"Take time for things important to
you.
Take time for things that make you
happy.
Take your time for being with loved
ones."
(I do not remember the whole poem.) The
solution to the problem may represent the gratification. Unwillingness to delay
this gratification (i.e., to take time to think and analyze the problem) will
generally result into inappropriate and away. They must be worked through. The
tendency to avoid problem-solving is short lived solutions, which may further
worsen things. Problems do not go like delaying gratification, as confronting
problems is many times painful..
Chapter:
Responsibility:
5) we must accept responsibility for
events/ problems in our life before we can act
upon/ solve it. Generally such a situation is accompanied with disowning the
event/ problem, and thinking the other person/ society responsible for it.
Chapter: Neuroses and
Character disorders:
6). Neuroses: when neurotics are in
conflict with the world, they automatically
assume that they are at fault, whereas those with character disorders assume
the world is at fault. Neurotics assume responsibility for their difficulties
and therefore see themselves as source of problem. Those with character
disorders don't see themselves as the source of their problems, hence difficult to work with. They repititively fail to recognize the necessity of
self-examination. It's said that ' neurotics make themselves miserable, those
with character disorders make everyone else feeling miserable, and generally make way
towards adulthood, or may be removed. All children show
early symptoms of neuroses and character disorder. It's the wisdom of theirs
which will differentiate between the two. Only Genuine
love and care by parents can shower upon them this wisdom to know the
difference.
(Source: "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck)
(Source: "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck)
No comments:
Post a Comment